Category Archives: Mind Witch

#Fall1stHop Mind Witch 1st 250

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#Fall1stHop Mind Witch 1st 250

Since the wonderful Michelle Hauck is hosting a #Fall1stHop on her blog, and my capacity to be critical of my work changes between “This fucking sucks, I should quit” and “This is fucking flawless, I’m a genius”, I’m posting the first 250 of Mind Witch for critique. Once a day after work, I will go around the other blogs, critiquing my share.

So here. Have a glimpse at my brilliance.

Mind Witch, First 250


Revision 1

When you’re a mind witch, people are your playground.

Zéphyrine repeated that mantra in her head over and over, not because it was comforting, but because it was true.

People would remain a playground until she had this country’s King under her heel and the city in her grasp. And no matter how wrong her orders were, she wouldn’t—absolutely wouldn’t—feel sorry for them. Pity had a way of killing you faster than a sword in the gut.

Her mind tingled with alarm, demanding she look up at the top of the stairs. Francisca stood with her hand on the carved staircase railing, frozen in shock, and Zéph recognized her prey immediately. Prior to coming here, she had lived with this woman’s niece, in another city, for six months, and she’d scoured the girl’s memories for all the possible advantages she could use once her orders changed.

She could still remember the warmth with which that girl had spoken about her family—a family Zéph was about to brainwash her way into.

She was a stranger to these people, but not for long.

Francisca’s eyebrows drew together in confusion as she opened her mouth to ask, “Who—”

Before the woman could say anything else, Zéph stepped forward. Her mind reached. Invaded. Conquered. You know me, she whispered into the woman’s head. Her victim’s mind whirled, trying to place Zéph in her myriad of memories.

Do not feel sorry.

She became a parasite, infiltrating a host of recollections.

Messy Original

When you’re a mind witch, people are your playground.

Zéphyrine repeated that mantra in her head over and over, not because it was comforting, rather because it was true. Zéph had played person after person in order to get inside Almar’s capital of Almudena under the guise of a noble girl who’d survived the most recent attack on the border with Bharaté.

People would remain a playground until she had this country’s King under her heel and the city in her grasp. And no matter how wrong her orders were, she wouldn’t—absolutely wouldn’t—feel sorry for them, because pity had a way of killing you faster than a sword in the gut.

Her mind tingled, demanding she look up at the top of the stairs, and there she was. Her prey stood atop the staircase, hand on the carved railing, the woman’s body frozen in shock, her eyebrows drawn in confusion. “Who—”

Before the woman could say anything else, Zéph stepped forward. Her mind reached. Invaded. Conquered. You know me, she whispered into the woman’s head. Her victim’s mind whirled in shock, trying to place Zéph in her myriad of memories.

Zéph recognized the girl’s face as soon as it came up—María Isabel, with whom Zéph had lived for six months before the Ravager issued the order to destroy Alaterra.

She’d seen this woman in María’s mind: Lady Francisca, wife of Lord Sidonia, her uncle. Zéph still remembered the warmth with which María had spoken about her family—a family Zéph was about to take for herself.

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Meet my character Blog Hop!

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The lovely Kathleen S. Allen tagged me in this blog hop. You can see hers on her own blog, and it honors me so so so much that she used the free character sketch I made for her during a contest ❤

And now, for my turn!

Meet Zéphyrine

 

1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?
Zéphyrine – Zéph, for short – is fictional.

2) When is the story set?
It’s a baroque setting in an unnamed fantasy world (seriously, I just call it The World), during Zéph’s father’s quest to end the influence of the Gods on earth.

3) What should we know about him/her?
Zéph is one of the four children of the Ravager (the main antagonist), and is a Mind Witch, which means she can hop around inside people’s heads and manipulate them as she sees fit.

4) What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?
Her life has always been messed up, so, in a way, conflict happens when it starts becoming less so. When she gets to Almudena (where the story happens), she’s intent on bringing the city to its knees and be done with it. She starts falling for Jasen (the Prince, whom she’s been told to brainwash), but it’s only when she meets Iriae, the one person who could go against the Ravager should she wish to, that Zéph starts having options in regards of where her life goes.

5) What is the personal goal of the character?
First, its to survive through obedience. Zéph’s scared shitless of her father (the one time she was a disappointment to him, he burned her half to death), and she wants to remain on his good side. But at around page 110, it changes into protecting Iriae and Jasen from the destruction the Ravager wants to bring upon Jasen’s country and the world.

6) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?
Mind Witch, and you can read if you ask me, I guess. The query is in a separate header in my blog, too 🙂

7) When can we expect the book to be published?
When I get an agent, and said super agent sells this to a publisher. Meanwhile, have one teasers of an unfinished illustration for one of the book’s scenes.

boy meets psion prev

Boy Meets Psion Preview

Dana Collins, E. L. Wicker, you’re it!
(plz don’t hate me?)

So, I’m a grown-up now

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Not that I haven’t been an adult (technically, anyway) for seven years now. But I have a grown-up job that finally allows me to be monetarily independent. YAY!

And since I’ve been quiet for a while, here are some illustrations I did for Withering Spring (Belladonna) and for Sightless 2.0, the game.

BellCharacterScreen_AislingV2 many sketches